Connecting With Your New Dating Partner Without Having Candle Lights, Wine Or Lingerie!

A journalist interviewed me regarding intimacy in relationships. One of her concerns was, "What are some of the easy ways in which lovers can bond without having candles and wine and pricey lingerie?"

Simple ways? Well, it depends on what you mean by simple!

Bonding has absolutely nothing to do with candles, wine and expensive lingerie. It has to do with intention. In any given moment we are in one of two possible intents:

-The intent to have control over receiving love and avoiding pain.

-The intention to learn about being loving to ourselves and to other individuals.

Virtually all of us have learned a lot of ways of attempting to have control over getting love and avoiding pain. We learned these protective habits when we were children, and as adults we unconsciously continue these learned controlling behaviors, like anger, criticism, withdrawal, resistance, or submission.

For many folks, these protective, controlling behaviors have become automated and habitual. As soon as any fear is triggered, we automatically protect against the pain by arguing, blaming, attacking, evaluating, shutting down, resisting, or giving in.

Ironically, when the intent is to get love or avoid discomfort, what we create is often a lack of love and much discomfort. Our intent to control brings about the very things we're attempting to steer clear of with our controlling behavior.

If both are open to learning, then they are going to be emotionally available to each other and can bond with a touch, a smile, or even a kind word. Connecting has to do with the energy in between them, not with anything external like candle lights, and the energy comes from their intention.

A controlling intent creates a heavy, dark, hard, closed-hearted energy, while the open-to-learning intention creates a light, soft, open-hearted energy.

Developing the ability to make a conscious choice concerning your intent is actually a learning process. The hallmark of greater consciousness is being in a position to select your intent every single moment, even in the face of fear.

To help you get through this learning process, double your dating advice from daviddeangelo is a great way to practice being open to others. His double-your-dating tips provide you with precise details on ways to handle dating situations correctly.

When dating partners are both able to reliably choose to be open to learning about loving themselves and each other, they produce a sweet and safe environment for their love to flourish. Then candles, vacations, and lingerie can boost their experience with one another - the icing on the cake.

The idea is very simple, but doing it is actually far from easy. Yet, devoting yourself to learning to stay open to learning in the face of fear might be the most fulfilling and rewarding experiences in your life!

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